A wonderful friend sent me this article at a time that I really needed to see it.
While the entire article is amazing for keeping it real for us mamas, she sent it to me after a tear-filled phone call about how I thought I was failing my pre-teen who is testing her independence. The section on “Don’t Take it Personally” was what I needed to hear on that day.
Oh yes, they will confront you, They will make a point to show you are “wrong” in your beliefs or ideals. It’s just their way of exerting their new knowledge. They test it out on you—someone they love dearly.
While that was what I needed to see and hear on that day, I have re-read this article a couple other times as it is just filled with gems. I won’t go through them all as you can read the article on your own. However, I do want to focus on one main point.
Whether you are a stay-at-home mother or a 8a-6p career mom (with after hours at home required), you will soon come to learn that it is very difficult and exhausting to try to “do it all” for the sake of your family.
I’m certain there is some research or a terrific psychologist who can explain why us moms are so good at guilt. I’m not that person. What I do know is that you can ask a group of moms how many are feeling guilty about something and most will raise their hands.
Whether we feel guilty because there are dirty dishes in the sink, or we leave work at 5:30 every night when everyone else stays past 6, or we served the kids fast food because we didn’t plan ahead for a meal (or we did but are too exhausted to do it.) All moms seemed to spend time in the land of guilt much too often.
I am no stranger to guilt, myself. I can list off at least a dozen reasons I should feel guilty today alone. Some of it, I have come to accept (the pile of laundry in the basement that never seems to get smaller but somehow seems to grow regularly), other things still can eat at me (I didn’t read books to my kids last night because I was exhausted after a hot day in the sun for ball games.)
I’m not sure I will ever be guilt free, but I have gotten better about framing things differently. The laundry doesn’t bother me because part of that is my kids’ job (they do their own) and in 20 years my children will not complain about the laundry on the floor. Perspective – it won’t really matter to them or me in the future.
Is it really necessary that dishes get done every day? Or that I feed the children wholesome meals and snacks all day every day of the week? Of that I was the only mom who didn’t bring cupcakes for a birthday treat (I’m the mom that brings pencils)?
We are super moms because we do our very best every day for our children and families. We are super moms because we love our children beyond belief. And we are super moms because we get up, day after day, and try to do it all again, knowing that our children are our best legacy.