Working Mother

The Mental Load Working Moms Carry

Since I blog about working moms, I often receive emails from friends or family about a new interesting article about working moms. Such is the case with this latest article: 2018’s Best & Worst States for Working Moms

Published by Wallet Hub, states were compared on 15 different aspects to determine where they rank as a whole. Lucky me! I live in the #2 state – Minnesota. Apparently, we ranked well in terms of child care, professional opportunities, and work-life balance.

Notice that I used the word “apparently” in that last statement.

If I am lucky enough to live in the #2 state , that would imply that I have less to worry about than the states from #3 to #51 (they included the District of Columbia.)

Let me just say that if that implication is true, I feel the need to drive right over to state #51, pick up all the working moms over there, and drive them all back here to the land of less worry.

Unfortunately, whether you live in state #1 or #51, the working mom stress is still very much a reality.

No matter where you are, you still make, on average, only 82% of what men make. You still get the calls from child care or school. You still have to figure out how to keep your house clean and your family fed. You still have to plan how to take time off for maternity leave or a sick child/family member without going into debt.

In other words, the mental load, according to research, still rests almost entirely on your shoulders. In fact, the latest research shows that mental load is a real and measurable thing – not just the latest feminist buzzword.

The 2017 Modern Family Index, commissioned by Bright Horizons Family Solutions found the following:

  • Breadwinning mothers are three times more likely than breadwinning fathers to be keepers of their children’s schedules and responsible for them getting to activities and appointments (76% vs. 22%)
  • They’re three times more likely to volunteer at school (63% vs. 19%)
  • They’re nearly twice as likely to make sure all family responsibilities are handled (71% vs. 38%).

Wow! Just… wow!

So to wrap this all together… I should feel so lucky because I live in the second best state for working moms. Yet, I still “get” to worry about child care, school projects, doctor appointments, making healthy meals, keeping a clean house and staying sane, all while making less money.

Yes… lucky me?

Hmmm… I think I feel a cooking and cleaning strike coming on.


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